Do I tell you about...

So I apologize it been a long time since I have written. Things here no longer seem new or different, it is easy to write about those things. I have been here long enough that the lines are becoming blurred. So what do I write about?

Do I tell you that I am hoping to get my driver’s license? I am looking into making trips all by myself into Bomet, town a few KM down the road. That I am excited about the opportunity to drive again but at the same time scared. What side of the road do I drive on? What if the police stop me? Do I still remember to drive a stick?

Do I tell you about the patient I lost last week? The pregnant mom who was on a ventilator with bad lungs  (ARDS), when she pulled out her own breathing tube we could not get her intubated and  back on full support (PEEP =20) before her heart stopped. We did CPR on this mom for 10-15min before deciding that the chance of getting her back was minimal so we decided to save the baby instead. The doctors quickly cut out the baby. We stopped trying to save mom and worked on baby instead. I was not the only one crying as this all took place. When I heard that new born baby cry at last some hope. I have gone to visit this little girl daily and Praise the Lord for her life but mourn the life of her momma, and struggle with what ifs and if onlys.

Do I tell you about the good-byes I’m saying as missionaries are leaving on to the USA for a few months to a year so they can raise support? As my trip back to Canada will be in March, I may not see some of these missionaries again until I return in 2016.

Do I tell you about the frustration I feel when after being a year I have not been able to get some things completed, and I start to wonder is there ever a chance of changing things from how they have always been?

Do I tell you about the fact that I’m tired and wish there was more hours in a day to get everything done, but other times I wonder if I spent my time better I would be able to get things done?

Do I tell you about the joy I feel when a patient who recovered from sepsis and ARDS is sitting in a chair and asking for a drink of water?

Well this blog post got long, with all sorts of things. I guess I do have something to say.